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Thursday, October 20, 2011

Thanks, Facebook!

    As you know, Facebook is one of my only windows to the outside world that lies beyond our play room. I am completely addicted to it, not unlike my friend who shoots up Harry Potter heroin. Facebook is my crack. (Well, that and Slim Jims. And cheese. And merlot.) Anyway, yes, I am quite aware that my addiction to Facebook and my "friends" is pathetic, but I really do need that connection. Now I sound like a total junky rationalizing my problem. Whatever, I need my Facebook fix every day, several times a day. You can have all the interventions you want, but I will never quit my Facebook, my outlet, my faithful friend full of friends. 


    Aside from my parents, I don't think I know anyone who is not (or was not) on Facebook. I mean, sure, I have ancient aunts who have absolutely no idea what the Internet is, but I guess I mean I don't know anyone under, let's say, 50 who is not on Facebook. (Not that anything over 50 is ancient because it certainly is NOT. You know what I mean.) Really, though, everyone I know is on Facebook or was at some point. When you meet someone new and want to keep in touch, often instead of exchanging phone numbers, you ask them if they're on Facebook. Then the next morning, wham! You have a new Facebook friend and possibly real-life friend. I have recently learned that some family and friends have left Facebook. They quit cold turkey! I miss them, and I guess they had their reasons, but it's still unfathomable to me. 


    If it weren't for Facebook, I wouldn't have reconnected with my third grade teacher, my friends from college with whom I made some crazy memories, my Kindergarten classmates, my former students, and my family members who just live way too far away. I think everyone can agree that Facebook makes it possible to reconnect with folks you may otherwise never have the chance to speak to again. But for me, Facebook goes beyond a virtual book of faces on my Mac. I know some people don't like it because Big Brother is watching, but it doesn't bother me. I first noticed his eyes on me when up popped the ads for toddler knight costumes after I recently searched for them.  While the whole "he's watching you" thing does weird me out a little, I'm really OK with it. I actually think the only part that freaks me out about it is that the computer is able to do it, not that every movement I make is watched and recorded. Seriously, HOW do they do that? I think it has something to do with cookies or cupcakes or some other monkey nonsense. Whatever, he can watch all he wants because even though I know it sounds completely pathetic and ridiculous, Facebook has seriously changed my life! So, so sad, yes, I know. But really, hear me out. 


    Thanks to Facebook, I took a last-minute trip to New York a couple years ago to see one of my best college friends. I hadn't seen her in years and I learned on Facebook that she was at a conference there for the weekend. My brother lives in Brooklyn,  so I hopped on a train and we all had a great night that I will not soon forget. 


   Thanks to Facebook, my oldest brother met a girl, fell in love, got married, and gave me a sister. 


    Thanks to Facebook, I have been able to donate literally hundreds of dollars to friends raising money for different charities. Sure, I send in checks to places when I get requests in the mail or over the phone, but with Facebook, I can help my friends, as well as strangers. 


    Thanks to Facebook, I learned that friends and relatives have gotten engaged or married, or had babies. I get to see pictures of new in-laws and new baby cousins that I may never have seen otherwise. 


    Thanks to Facebook, I enjoy several simultaneous games of Scrabble with people in New Jersey, Kentucky, New York, and Connecticut. And sometimes I win! (If I wanted to, I really could play Mortal Kombat with a friend in Vietnam!


    Thanks to Facebook, I was invited to and thoroughly enjoyed a Saint Patrick's Day Party, several Christmas and birthday parties, and other random events. And since the pictures from said events were posted on Facebook, I am now able to recall what an awesome time I had. Oh, and thanks to Facebook I will soon be attending The Price is Right in Atlantic City! (We're totally making matching, clever t-shirts, in case you were wondering. If you know me even a little bit, you know that one is a no-brainer.) 


    Thanks to Facebook, I can shamelessly promote the blog you are now reading. 


    But most importantly, thanks to Facebook, I reconnected with the girls who have become my best friends and therapists. Before our sessions at the local bar, I often found myself rocking back and forth in the play room, clinging to a Cabbage Patch doll, whispering, "Serenity now, serenity now." Now I go out once a week with my girls to talk about possible book ideas, astronomical electric bills, and soft porn TV, while I enjoy some merlot and delicious cheese balls with horseradish dipping sauce. (They're fried treats straight from heaven; yet another form of legal crack.) 

    I could go on forever about how different and better my days are now that Facebook is a part of them. Yes, I still know how horribly lame that sounds, but I don't care. I'm totally serious! I love me my Facebook, and I'll never quit. I check it a few times a day to see what's what among my friends, both real and virtual. I keep in touch, learn recipes, make plans, find homes for kittens, and donate money. Oh, and now my kid has a kick-ass knight costume for Halloween. Thanks, Facebook! 

4 comments:

lindsay said...

love you, boo.

justlucy said...

Ditto, babe!

kristen said...

Aw! So sweet! Long live therapy!

mmbear said...

Stopping by from another blog hop (although late, but at least I did make it)!! I am now following your blog thru GFC and would love a follow back when you get the chance. I could not find a FB button so if you need me to follow there let me know! Thanks so much for your help and have a great day!

Mary@http://www.mmbearcupoftea.com