The other day I got the PTA paperwork for my son's school. I filled it out, being sure to follow all the directions, and returned it immediately. Normally, I would attribute such anal retentiveness to my OCD, but this time it was different. For those of you who may be unaware, I'm going to let you in on a little secret: When it comes to the PTA, there's this intense, unspoken competition among stay-at-home moms, battling it out for positions. It's so weird. Even though we're all super busy with kids and part time jobs and whatnot, there HAS to be time for the PTA. For some parents, just volunteering here and there is enough. But for crazy moms like me, it's so not. Some folks just bring a bag of red and green M&M's to the holiday party and call it a day. But there is a large group of us who can't and won't settle for that shit. We have to PLAN the party. Make the snacks. Choose the activities, decorations, and paper products. Delegate jobs to other moms and threaten their replacement if their duties are not fulfilled. Be in on all the action. Get the teacher's cell phone number! It's quite ridiculous, really, yet I'm a willing and committed participant. I live for this shit and I won't go down without a fight. I would be the best Room Mom ever. I could also kick most of the other moms' asses if need be. Just sayin'.
|"Who's running the bake sale? Say it!" |
"I can't hear you!"
"Yeah, that's what I thought, bitch."