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Thursday, October 18, 2012

Check Out The Plumage On That Guy

Can we talk about online dating for a minute? OK, so, I think it can be a pretty cool way to meet people, especially if you're a little shy or just don't have time or money to go out a lot. But what I don't get about some people who choose online dating is how they completely deceive you about their appearance. Let's be honest. The first thing that attracts you to someone is his or her physical appearance. We're human. We're animals. We are essentially here to mate and make more humans. Mother Nature is no fool. You think the male peacock would choose to look like that unless it helped him get laid? I'm guessing no. 

Now, I understand how you would want to use a more flattering picture of yourself for your online profile, but I don't understand why you would choose one that really looks nothing like you. What do you expect to happen? "Oh, hey, I know! I'll post a really good picture of myself from five years ago taken at an angle that happens to make me look hot. Then he'll write to me and ask me out. Then, when we go out, he'll be so dazzled by my personality that he won't even notice I look NOTHING like I do in that picture and that I'm actually not hot at all. Perfect!" 


Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that only good-looking people should date or post their pictures. That's just stupid. I'm saying that you should not misrepresent yourself. If you're blonde, post a picture of you with blonde hair. If you usually wear glasses, have them on in the picture. If you've put on a few pounds, post a recent photo. Who gives a shit?! That's what you look like. Own it. If you were in a bar, you'd want to catch someone's eye who likes how you actually look. The rules don't change because you're at your computer instead of a bar. I'm just sayin'. 

That doesn't just go for your physical appearance either. You should never, EVER lie about the things you enjoy doing just to get a date. You know the girl who is afraid of heights but tells the guy that she loves bungee jumping? Yeah, she's an idiot. That's just a recipe for disaster. My husband, a football coach, knew since the day he met me that I would rather blow a clown than watch a football game on TV. He would probably also rather blow a clown that go to karaoke with me. But it's cool because we were open about all of that from the beginning and we never misrepresented who we are. Who cares if you don't enjoy ALL the same things? I don't even think that's possible. 

Anyway, not to get all cheesy and lame, but if you find someone you like, don't compromise who you are so that he or she will like you back. It's a complete waste of time and emotion for everyone involved. I feel like this should be totally obvious logic, but apparently it's not because I hear stories from my frustrated friends about crap like this all the time. It's not that hard, people. Be you. If he or she doesn't like you for you, fuck 'em and move on. Well, don't ACTUALLY fuck 'em. I mean, I guess you could, but you know what I mean. Either way, protect yourself. 

This has been a public service announcement. 


Kelly Sater said...

I think people post hot pics of themselves because that is what they think they actually look like. Seriously I don't need make-up and a straightener to know I look like a sexy beast all day. I just need to avoid mirrors. I'm probably just really lucky that I got married before online dating took off.

SherilinR said...

so much logic in this post. obviously many people are opposed to logic. maybe they'll learn eventually. i can see wanting to present yourself well, but be realistic too so you're not just setting yourself and your date up for disappointment right from the get go.

Eva Gallant said...

Excellent advice! My son met his fiance on both posted actual photos!

jesterqueen said...

We now return you to your regular online treachery and deceit at I met my husband in grad school, and I wouldn't look back.

Classic NYer said...

So, I'm guessing the two of you blow clowns together on your date nights? Just kidding...

But yeah. I've never understood that shit. Similarly, dudes who use his friend's car or a rented car to impress chicks on dates. You know, she'll figure it out eventually and she'll think you're a total d-bag for doing it, and boom, there goes your second date.