Recently a friend posted on Facebook that as an anniversary gift to her husband, she was going to shed a few pounds. I believe her words were, "I'm giving him less of me." I thought it was awesome and I'm totally doing it too. I understand that some women, maybe even most women, would be all, "Girl, he should love you just the way you are, blah, blah, blah." And I only sort of agree with them. I mean, it's nice to be loved completely and unconditionally, but it's also nice not to have your husband look at you and wonder where the hell the woman he married went. It's nice not to feel insecure when you see your husband checking out the other women at the office Christmas party. I know my husband looks at other women. I have no problem with it. Sometimes I'll try to figure out which one he thinks is the hottest, just for shits and giggles. Sure, they're often thinner than me with huge tits and an ass you could bounce a quarter off of. Who cares? SHE'S HOT. How can you NOT look? It's normal, ladies. Relax. It doesn't mean he loves you any less. If you caught him with her in the bathroom at said party, then, sure, you can go ahead and freak out. I'll help you kill them both. That's an entirely different story.
I see nothing wrong with trying to look your best for your husband, boyfriend, significant other, etc. I think you should also do it for YOU, but if it's a motivator that your husband will be happy about it too, then even better. I'm not saying you should ever compromise who you are or try to be something that you're not. That's also an entirely different story and one that I'm not a fan of. I'm just saying that I don't see a problem with trying to make your spouse happy by making yourself look good. Sometimes it's as simple as taking a shower and getting out of your goddamn pajamas once in a while.
When I ask my husband if I look fat, if my hair looks bad, or if my outfit is terrible, I want the truth. Some women want to hear that they look fantastic no matter what they look like. Sorry, but I'd be pissed if my husband let me leave the house looking like an asshole. He'll never stand there and say, "Yeah, you look enormous. Take that off." But he will say something like, "Eh. You've looked better." Or "Maybe those jeans are working a little too hard." And I'm not even a little offended because he's often right. I may disagree or not care, but at least he was honest. And I'm grateful for that. I don't need or want him to blow sunshine up my ass. That's not helpful to me. I also don't constantly ask him how I look. That's what mirrors are for. He's just my second opinion. Sure, I'm often insecure about my body, especially after having three children, but I try not to bother him about it too much. (Try.)
So, I wish the best of luck to my friend in her efforts to give her husband less of herself, as I try to do the same. (I also cyber high-five her husband for marrying such an awesome woman.) I realize this may annoy or offend some women out there and I only sort of understand how. So, if you find this annoying, offensive, or otherwise wrong, I'd like to hear why. I don't think like most women, so this sort of thing often fascinates me. And while you're working on your hate mail, I'm going to throw away all of my Halloween candy.